A Look at Parenting Styles
from PeopleKeys, DISCInsights,
and the Institute for Motivational Living
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May's DISC Insight:
Since Mother's Day has recently passed, we want to talk about parenting for this month's DISC Insight. Naturally, a parent wants their children to be happy, healthy, and safe, but since parenting comes with no clear set of rules, how do we set about accomplishing this? It has much to do with what we choose to incorporate from our own parents, our values systems, our support systems, and our situations in life. But also, our personality style and natural tendencies in communication. To go one step further, our children are people too, so they also have personality styles, specific needs and fears, and natural tendencies in communication. By understanding our own styles and those of our children, we can increase communication, anticipate insecurities, and avoid some very predictable conflicts. Below is a very brief breakdown based on primary DISC Styles.
The D-Style Parent (THE BOSS)
These parents are determined, hard working, competitive, and energetic. D-Style parents are often busy parents, surrounding themselves with tasks and activities. They focus on problem solving and big picture solutions, focusing less on the emotions behind something or the reasons why…as long as the end result is positive. They do not respond well to dramatic or emotional displays. The D-parent will strive to be a figure of authority and to be a good role-model for their children. However, if their authority is challenged or they feel disrespected or taken advantage of, they will likely display strong tone and body language.
Food for Thought for D-Style Parents:
- With a D-style child, there may be a struggle for power. Assert your authority early, but allow them to make decisions for themselves, as this still gives them some control over their own lives, which they crave.
- With I, S, and C-Style children, you will need to be careful of your tone and body language, as these styles will easily feel rejected or intimidated and may withdraw or avoid you as a result.
The I-Style Parent (THE COMMUNICATOR)
These parents are energetic, expressive, fun, and communicative. They love to be the center of attention, and enjoy when others are smiling, interacting, and being creative. They are very focused on people. The I-Style likely struggles with organization, details, time management, and especially rejection. As they will want to be accepted by others, and their children, they will likely struggle with being the disciplinarian or one who has to say “no”. This style encourages being in touch with one's emotions. They are open, spontaneous, flexible, and giving.
Food for Thought for I-Style Parents:
- You will need to set boundaries, even though it is uncomfortable for you.
- D and C style children will be more task oriented than people oriented, but you crave people interaction. Talk about what they like, and the systems and tasks they enjoy, in order to open lines of communication.
The S-Style Parent (THE NURTURER)
These parents are stable, selfless, patient, and calm. They strive for peaceful relationships and environments, and will put others' needs before their own in order to achieve this. The S-Style will avoid conflict with others, as it causes them intense stress, which they will likely internalize. They create a strong sense of security and grounding for their children and are very committed and loyal to their families. As they dislike change, they may also become stubborn or inflexible in their ways.
Food for Thought for the S-Style Parent:
- You may give of yourself to the point that you no longer take time for your own wants and needs. Try to balance this.
- With a D-style child you will have to make an effort to hold your ground. Although you will want to avoid conflict, they will respect you for setting boundaries.
The C-Style Parent (THE ORGANIZER)
These parents are organized, modest, task-oriented and logical. They will teach their children to find out how and why things are how they are, to gather information, and look at the details before deciding. They often will put systems in place for things to run smoothly, but may be inflexible when it comes to changing these systems. They are independent and creative people, who can see into the details and analyze a situation based on information. However, others may perceive them as withdrawn or unemotional and may have a difficult time getting close. They will avoid conflict and also seek out peaceful and stable environments.
Food for Thought for the C-Style Parent:
- You gather information, look into the details, and analyze the world around you, which is full of mistakes and problems. Try not to be too critical of others, when you notice these things.
- You are reserved and modest. Be sure to assert yourself with D-style children and set boundaries. Try to open lines of communication with I and S style children, so you do not become distant to them.
Featured Products for Parenting:
Different Needs, Different Children
- Through this book, you will gain a greater insight into parenting styles and the personality styles of your children. With each style comes different needs, fears, and tendencies, and two styles interacting always come with their own challenges to overcome.
DISC – The Children's Profile (paper profile)
- Find out the primary personality style of your child, so you can gain insight into their needs and tendencies. (ages 8-12)
StudentKeys – DISC Personality Style Workbook (paper profile)
StudentKeys – Personality Style Report (online profile)
- Find out the primary personality style of your teenager, so you can gain insight into their needs and tendencies (ages 13-18)
StudentKeys – Student Strengths Report (online profile)
- Combine the StudentKeys Personality Style Report with the Cognitive and Perceptual Style surveys. Find out your student's personality style, learning style, and thinking style all in one report.
eDISC – Relationship Report (online profile)
- Find out your DISC Personality Style and gain insightful relationship tips, including how you likely show and want to receive love from others and common occurrences with relationships for your personality style.